I never get on well with most of the elderly elite. No, that would be wrong, actually I never get on with them at all.Not that I dont like to, never , but I always end up in the wrong side of those convos and bearing the brunt of a scolding.Even a slightly loose comment can result in a lecture long enough to make me sit through a history class. A lot of people in age>50 are super obnoxious and judgemental and opinionated that they love to drown the listeners in their wordly views of wisdom. especially the youngsters. If you are in school, the topic is "college admissions, board exams, future prospects etc etc" and voila, i 'll be given a lenghty talk abt the achievements of their prodigal kids.even worse the advice that follows "you see, CBSE is useless, no marks guaranteed, do not take **** engineering, there is no market.." and so goes on the list of ridiculous statemetns whose knowledge they obtained from their neighours brothers grandchildren or worse,Sun TV news . They never tire until you obey them point blank.One of my aunts was so adamant that I should take up State board in class 11.She was such a pestering nuisance that she managed to block me even when I go to the bathroom and give me another of her carreer talks . Why the hell do these people have to pound us repeatedly with their views if saying them once is enough for all? I understand the concern and caring part but come on, its MY life, my decisions to make.
Surprisingly, its not even the parents in most cases who give such constant headaches but the next relatives circle. Unknown uncles and aunts sprout up from nowhere and literally queue up to talk to u. Opinions are welcome if the source is any worthy of delivering it. Usually grandmothers are easiest to manage. They are happy enough if you oblige them with a prompt attendence and eat a jumbo lunch at their place. I have been winning my grandmom's favour just for banging her door once a day and demanding tea/tiffin. Just hang around fr a while, murmur "ahan".."oho"..at frequent intervals during their monologues of God knows what, and just take off exactly half hour later. Thats it, I am always her favourite grandchild.I become too perfect to have the need of her advice at all.
Even the advice problem can be tolerated, but some impertinent comments cannot. I respect some elders just for their age if not anything else. But my good manners were tested a bit too much by a 70 year old thatha .Due to my mom's ill health last December, I was given the thooku and entrusted with the task of getting food at a godforsaken time of 6.30 am on every morning of my "vacation" from a entrepreneur- maami supplying sambar,rasam etc. to office goers . She had the most annoying father who sits on the pillion every morning and loves to vambu alathufy with the customers. I, unfortunately was his frequent target. With a superior attitude which can be justified for his age, he drills me with a quiet ferocity. Once it went out of hand.
thatha: Which school are you studying in?
me: school illa college.
thatha (raised brows) : oh, is it? which college?
This was a tricky question.I can either tell the truth and hear another tirade of "oh, y Singapore? there are so many good colleges here, why did u leave ur parents? bla bla" or lie. I chose to lie.
me : Cresent Engineering college.
thatha:( seemed satisfied for a moment, but only for a moment) now a days, everyone is doing engineering. its overflowing. no market for IT , u know? ......(on&on&on &on for next 10 min. used to this reply, I almost fell asleep . then suddenly asks) why have you come to buy food? pommanaati ponnu, nee yen samaika matengara? idha kaalathla yarukum samaika therila....
damn it, just when i was congradulating myself of avoiding the college controversy, i landed in this mess. It was in the tip of my tongue to ask him to mind his own bizness. Since the thatha was coughing while speaking, I restrained, not wanting him to argue longer with me. and then the punch question arrives.
thatha : do u have any brothers?
me: no. just a sister.
thatha: paavam un appa amma. payyan irundha kadasi varaikum kaapathuvan, rendum ponna pochu.
That was THE last straw.I was stunned. This old useless guy was judging me, torturing me with advice,insulting me and now pitying my parents.Maybe in ancient years, one can understand that sentiment. But now? Did he even remember that he was living in his daughter's charity and not his son's? I am dismissed as useless just bacause m a girl? I still dont know how I managed to get back home without causing him any harm.But even I couldnt resist "paavam unga kozhanthel" before walking out.They say Old is Gold, but sometimes, its just irritating rusted crumbs.
i am not stereotyping here. My point is that people cannot expect to be worshipped and obeyed just because of the age factor. Though in our culture, anyone elder is to be respected, they should know better than to misuse the treatment.
3 comments:
Nice one.. :) That tiffin thatha rocked :D
Older==Wiser? Definitely not in my case... I make more stupid decisions as I grow in age because I'm confronted with more choices than when I was a kid.
As a kid, something was either right or wrong. Black or white. Now its divided into this whole scene of black ,white and grey tones.
Paati Thatha advice is gud... they know v wont take it, v know its all in goodwill n its all fine.
But all the other kelads r merciless. They corner me everytime during some random family function and quiz me on topics ranging from sandhyavandhanam, temples, career, studies, marks, campus, placement, higher studies, future plans, weather, history, family ancestral roots, New Jersey, Illinois, Texas, Alabama, Pakistan, LTTE and Karunanidhi.
Jesus Christ.
@ck,
new jersey & illinois? Lol. my sympathies.i once got caught by a lady somwre near Ayodya mandapam, who happend to be some distant cousin of my mom. omg, i dint even know her and she was mokai pottufying fr a hour. on the bloody street! once u get caught, its hell.
yah yah, in those days passed, some grannies and elders used to irritate us too, as to "let me see whether u r fit 4 the class u r studying now and what u have learnt in school, "if 2 taps can fill a tank in 3 hours, how much time will 3 taps take to empty it," or "if 3 men can finish a work in 4 days at the rate of 6 hours per day how many persons will be needed to finish the same work at 4 hours per day" like that or temme how much 19 eighteens are with 3 seconds like that. The alternate irritation will be "c in olden days we used to do the field work , agricultural and household works of 3 days in a single day without laziness. U people are nver fit to match our physique or brilliance". like that. It may be or may not be. But empty vessels make always sound. This kind of nuisance is perennial. But it is reduced to some extent in modern times since a few ppl r vetty. We could ignore or just neglect their dialogue because v were helpless and that time v could hardly find ppl to support and share opinions with us.
As v r always busy now planning or thinking anything, v ll be disturbed and it is not tolerable.
The wise thing is to avoid these boasting ppl, just divert their dialogue by enquiring about their health or topics of common interest to these ppl.
World is changing and views are modified and there is a way to tell any subject or opinion in an acceptable way, only few ppl with common sense have this tactics and decency.
Any way, world is ssooooo big.... to accomodate variety of characters whcih supplies multiple experiences to us.
all the best for escaping from such personalities in future. ha ha ha!
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